A rowdy group of social drinkers and former bartenders discuss.
Bashutskyy/Bashutskyy/Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed
"People drink absinthe to feel cool and ~ edgy ~."
"It's for people who want to feel rebellious but are terrified of actually breaking any laws."
"Also: weirdos."
"Yeah, like people who own seven pet snakes."
"Absinthe is for characters in 19th-century novels."
"Absinthe cocktails are wonderful. I like booze that makes me feel like a disgraced count."
"Bailey's is for college kids who learned how to drink from their dad."
"A beer and a shot is for someone who knows what is what."
"People who order that are people who will actually dance. Instead of just standing there."
"Yeah, most people who order a shot + beer don't suck."
"The person who orders a shot and a beer understands a thing or two about mortality and how to spend it well."
"It's the drink of people who are comfortable talking to strangers and make friends easily."
"People who like Bloody Marys are beautiful."
"Bloody Marys are for people who try too hard. 'Look at me, I'm drinking vegetables, harrumph harrumph harrumph.'"
"Bloody Marys are for people who talk about how much they hate brunch but then ALWAYS eat brunch."
"They also function as a light dinner for people who like getting wasted more than they like eating."
"Anyone who drinks Brass Monkeys is the kind of person who will manage to stock a full bar after the apocalypse."
martinturzak/martinturzak/Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed
"Campari and soda is for people who are going places."
"Campari and soda is for winners."
"Campari and soda is for someone who wants a good-tasting drink in her hand but wants to remain relatively sober."
"Also for people who have digestive issues."
"And people of taste who are too scared to talk about negronis anymore now that there's been a backlash."
"I think champagne is for people who are really good at finding online shopping deals. Like, their shoes are NICE but they didn't pay too much."
"Champagne is for people who like celebrating, even when you just want to celebrate BEING YOU, by yourself."
"Cider is for 18-year-olds who haven't acquired a taste for beer yet."
"I feel like bartenders profile moron-looking people and ask them have they tried the seasonal cider."
"It's just soda for grown-ups."
"Cognac is some classy fucking shit."
"Does anyone order cosmos anymore? I feel like it's very late '90s."
"Very Sex and the City."
"Cosmos and Sex on the Beach are like, not things people actually order unless they are horrible humans."
"Sex on the Beach is for people who are willing to say the ludicrous salad names at Just Salad out loud."
"Sex on the Beach is for people who would never actually have sex on a beach."
"Or sex anywhere."
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